not sure how the rest of you spent your halloween, but i can say mine was a little more quiet than usual.  halloween is my sister’s birthday so something is always planned with the family.  well, with just nii-san and me with dad still out in the complete opposite side of the world, we didn’t really have much planned especially since dad’s stay extension was totally last minute.

it started out at beni’s house.  i had stayed the night there because the night before was the halloween party for our kung fu school.  we got out there around 0230 in the morning, and upon getting home, beni played borderlands till about 6 in the morning.  i fell asleep during that time.  so our halloween started out late.  it was already past noon, i’d been making calls to my sister asking what her plans were, and during that, i still hadn’t eaten.  blood sugar low, starving, stressed, then finally eddie and nikki come and we head out to first watch for “breakfast”.  delish…  had a “veg’d out” omelette.  sooooo good.  and beni let me have some of his pumpkin pancake.  doubly good….  got back to beni’s then we drove over to my house to start birthday stuff with nii-san.

nii-san’s friend stephanie joined us later.  it’s always fun to have her around.  i feel less nerdy when she and ash start to babble about something like buffy or hetalia.  haha…  i think beni even got along with stephanie too.  they had some “nerd bickers/wars”, but all in good taste.  i thought i’d be the nice little sister and make nii-san some homemade fettucini alfredo, one of her favourites.  i think i need to adjust the recipe for next time, but it was still good.  i think mostly everyone had seconds.  while everyone was still talking at the dinner table, i started making some fruit jello.  which now that i think about it, we never got to eat because it didn’t cool in time and now that it’s not pure liquid, it’s frozen solid.  i hope it’s good though.

for the halloween part of the day, we watched “the lost skeleton of cadavra” which was probably one of the best cheese-tastic movies i’ve seen since zoolander.  xD  it was amazing and we all loved it.

“and together, you and i shall rule this world together!”

oh the cheese…  it was so good.  everyone should watch it.  it should be a halloween tradition or something.  kinda like how i always have to watch “hocus pocus”.  shut up!  it’s a classic!  after that we celebrated my sister’s 23 with some scrubs inspired appletinis!

i pretty much never have pictures of me.  so this is rare!  sometimes being the camera chick sucks.  D;

nii-san with our martini shaker substitute (an emptied out voss bottle) and her friend stephanie with the apple garnish.

nii-san and stephanie were going out later for more drinks so they only made their appletinis with green apple smirnoff ice.  nii-san was nice enough to make beni’s and mine virgin.  aren’t our martini glasses fancy??  *sigh*  still sucks how all our stuff is packed away in boxes, but hey.  no one complained!

during appletinis we just chatting tons more.  a lot of batman related stuff came up as well as spectacular spider-man.  hmm…  see what i mean about nerd stuff?  after that, beni and i had to leave to meet up with our friend dara for party-hopping.  also nii and steph were planning to go out as well.  we pretty much finished off the night watching mega64 videos.  ahhh…  it was a pretty good night.  hahaha~

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aside from that.  everything’s going ok…for the most part.  i’m not completely bored out of my mind yet from not being able to do ANYTHING, so that’s good.  i’ll give it a few more days till i say “FUCK IT” and turn in a few job applications.  i’ll try to work.  hell, i HAVE to work sometime!!  if my doctor still says it’s too much stress on me, then i’ll stop.  developing some sciatic nerve pain now which really blows, but i think i can tough it out.  just keep my legs elevated while i sleep and knees above my hips when i sit.  i think that’s the remedy.

things coming up:
-8th, open house at the wushu guan’s new location.
-photo shoot on the 14th.  hopefully i can go this time.  anyone want to join?  text me!
-17th, appointment with DCF, hopefully going to get some more benefits.
-next appointment with doctor on the 20th.  keep your fingers crossed for better news.
-25th daddy HOPEFULLY finally comes home from the philippines.
-25th at 7pm, premier of the ben 10 alien swarm movie.
-sometime in nov is thanksgiving.  when is this again??

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toodles for now!  much love!

“whatever it takes, i know i can make it through…”

mmm….yeah.  sorry about the last post.  yes.  a little personal.

so what’s going on, i just saw the doctor and the radiologist within a week of each other to help with my condition.  i was pretty much feeling good the day after the last visit (29 oct), then later that day, after i just finished filling out a few job applications, i get a call from the doctor’s office saying they got my results back.

uhh…  turns out i’m going to be having more complications than originally expected.  so now i pretty much have to be confined to being a total vegetable and do absolutely nothing which blows.  i LOVE doing active things.  hell, i was even asked to do some fire dancing in this year’s guavaween parade.  now i’m told i can’t do anything like that until further notice.  now i’m getting fatter, i’m not getting my work-out, i can’t really have fun, and on top of all that i still feel like shit almost all the time.

i’m just pissed.  not at the doctors or anything, just at my body.  not too long ago beni was joking about how i had some sort of mutant healing factor.  now look at me.  it’s pathetic.  i’m pathetic…

sooo…just a question.  a little personal.

have any of you ever been told by your doctor that sex is stictly prohibited for the time being?  just curious.  you know.  yeah..  *cries*

dear wordpress,
why don’t you do audio posts yet?  just wondering.  kthnxbai!

hugs and kisses,
Raven

i’ve been in a pretty good mood recently.  i think it’s because it’s autumn and i keep having this good feeling that it’s going to be really deliciously cold and beautiful.  i don’t know.  just a good feeling, so don’t rain on my parade.  hahaha..

i’m still pretty sick.  i know i talk about that all the time, but the illness is kinda long term.  i should be getting better really soon.  at least i’m finally going to see an actual doctor about it.  yep!  i have an appointment on the 23rd of october.  i’m a bit nervous so hear what he has to say, but i’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything is good.  i’m not quite sure i’m ready to publically say what exactly i’m sick with, but it’ll come eventually.  just be patient.  ^^  just know i’m not dying!

a video blog is long, LONG overdue, i know, and i’m hoping i can do one soon.  i just have a lot going on right now and during the time i’m actually NOT suffering from one of my many symptoms, i’m doing things like paperwork, bills, or just trying to enjoy my time with friends because, hell, i’m effin’ back in florida and i freakin’ miss them!  i might just do a short one, do just compose something like my vloggeversary video.  i record a lot of crap when i’m with friends so that should count as a vlog right?  and now that i know i have a lot more family and friends who actually WAIT for me to update those, heh heh…i need to get on the ball, eh?

other than that, being really artsy still.  doing a few paintings, not finished a few but HUUUSSSHHH, and really just enjoying painting freehanded.  i been really wanting to move this is artist community in Land O Lakes, but i don’t think i’ll be able to move now anytime soon.  i’m still thinking about it and keeping it on the top of the list.  which reminds me, they have parties a lot.  anyone ever want to go??  i always want to but beni doesn’t so i’d be going alone…and that’s sad…  hit me up on the emailz, twitter, myspace, or something.  also MIGHT be doing a photoshoot there sometime soon.  i’ll have to see how i feel, but i really want to go.  anyone is welcome to come with me too if you want!  <33

quick family update:
niisan is actually being a responsible adult and looking for jobs and such.  she’s been going to career workshops and everything!  hell, i didn’t even do that.  maybe i should.  haha.  maybe i need to find a career to pursue first though.  hmm..  her birthday is also coming up soon on the 31st.  oh that halloween baby.  as for dad, birthday coming up soon on the 25th.  i feel so left out being in february!  hmm.  and at mom’s birthday was on may, so we are both out of the october loop.  other than that, dad is busy saving the world!  haha.  kinda.  since the typhoon in the philippines, my dad’s been travelling across the phils feeding homeless people and just being an all-around good person.  i’m wondering if there’s a person of the year type thing i can nominate him for.  no.  i’m serious.

this little raven is off.  i’ve got a few interwebz stuff to catch up on, then after that, focus on not getting a headache, then going out with the boyfriend.  toodles!

quite a bit of my recent stress has been alleviated.  not quite gone, but at least i can take a break.  there’s still a lot of REALLY important things i need to do, but i think i will fair ok.  daddy just left for the philippines a week ago.  he usually goes off there these days so nii-san and i are pretty used to it.  but he didn’t call us when he was on his way to japan like he usually does so i was freaking out.  and since then i hadn’t even heard if he had landed safely or not.  so many things went through my head while worrying about daddy’s whereabouts.  i even got sick(er) thinking about what might’ve happened.  yes.  i was literally worred sick.  but he finally gave us a ring today saying he was all right.  phew!  there goes a lot of stress.  also i think i have MOSTLY taking care of all the medicaid crap i have to deal with.  i’m hoping all i have to do is just fax the documents they need and i’m done.  *happy sigh*  feels so good.

because of that, the last few days i’ve been able to hoop again (still VERY sore, but at least i’m not nauseated by slight movement) and i’ve been very artsy.  tonight i must’ve hooped about 2 hours put together.  it’s easy to do when you watch tv.  haha.  took a few breaks of course, but it rocked.  i’m hoping to tone back up a little.  i’ve gained quite a bit of weight since i had gotten sick over a month ago.  also been doing a lot of quick sketching and a bit of painting.  i can say this because beni never reads my journal.  i’ve also been working pretty hard on beni’s birthday painting.  not sure if i’m going to be able to finish it in a timely manner, so i’m thinking about saving that piece for christmas and painting him something a little less complex.  but i’ve been doing a lot of acrylic painting as well as digital.  i also finally got corel painter.  it’s pretty hard compared to photoshop, but i’ll get the hang of it eventually.  i absolutely LOVE the watercolours!!

well, i’m going to go.  but i’ll leave you off with one digital painting i did.  happy being!

every thing’s just going so fast, y’know.  the second you graduate high school you feel lost.  especially when you don’t go to university, then absolutely NOTHING is mapped out for you.

so now that i finally have a plan, move back to florida, get a part-time job, move into my own flat, attend HCC for spring term…so on and so forth, i feel like i wasn’t supposed to come up with a plan at all.  was i supposed to come up with all that later?  how about immediately after high school?  who knows.  but now i’m in this bind, that can possibly change that perfect plan i had for myself.

it’s not that i hate what’s going on.  oh god no!  in fact, i am happy and excited and am almost moved to tears at the very thought, but then, not even a WEEK after the news, all these bad things start happening and i feel like i just picked the wrong time to make the right choices.

all i’ve been doing with my online time is doing research here, doing research there, reading up on this and that, try to apply for this, find a person for that, get directions to one place, and on top of all that, i’m always feeling like crap and i never get anything accomplished.  everything i’m trying to read just goes in one end and out the other.

i just hope i do everything right.  i mean, i don’t just have my own life on my hands now.  i can’t be the little girl depending on mommy and daddy to help me out.  god.  i feel like i can’t even get help for anything!  anyone who reads this, please, just keep me in your thoughts.  keep your fingers crossed for me, and send any extra good luck you might have lying around.

in response to Feeling Illz (20/8/2009).

like i mentioned in that blog, i pretty much felt like shit all around.  nausea here, pain here, pain there, lack-of or unusual appetite, so on and so forth.  well, went to a doctor and found out what’s wrong with me.  i probably won’t say it until i know for a fact it’s permanent.

i just feel like this came at a bad time.  aside from the typical economic slump causing me and my sister to not find jobs, dad is stressed out about getting the taxes done, he has his new businesses to worry about, the living situation isn’t really permanent and we have no idea when it will change, and everyone else around me doesn’t seem to be doing too good either.  my friend madison has to leave her flat because her PoS ex just upped and left one day leaving her with nothing.  my friend’s kid has a brain tumour and is not responding well to the treatment.  and now beni’s family’s in a rut too because some little shit-bag on paypal decided it’d be cool to steal ALL of steve’s (beni’s dad) money from his bank.  bad enough beni’s mom is a mooch living off alamony and letting her lame-ass boyfriend to mooch as well.

it’s just such a bad time right now for everyone and i feel like my situation is just so inconvenient.  *sigh*  it’s ok.  i’ll get through it and hopefully everything else with be better soon.

wish i had something here i can post to lighten the mood, but i’m just all out of goodies right now..

FINALLY!  i’m back online using a network that my family actually pays for!  (we’ve been using public wi-fi and mooching off neighbours…hahaha…)  yep.  that’s because we’re finally settled in to a permanent (for now) home.  before we were all over the place.

so i’m happy.  i can finally get back to my normal swing of things like the Bentley Brothers forums, deviantART, wordpress, etc.  yoshi!  this rocks!  speaking of things that rock…

i’ve been getting art from different artists of my SNK/KoF original characters.  check ‘em out!

Mae, the character i named after my sister, by Benit149

Bae-ki and Mae by AngelsareFacists

Jun and Jack by LadyAushe

not been feeling really well recently.  after the cross-country road trip, i’ve feel like…well…shit.  but even before the trip either my uterus, stomach, or bladder kept hurting as well as “the twins”.  not to mention the random back pain i get every so often came back for a visit while i was in Morongo.  oy.

but since coming back and in addition to those existing pains, i’ve felt really nauseous, dizzy, headachey, and my appetite has been fluctuating more than a strobe light at a rave.  i can’t even get through a whole meal without saying “i’m not feeling this anymore”.

i’m considering actually seeing a doctor or something.  but i’m thinking after dad goes back to the philippines.  he’s got a lot on his mind right now and i don’t want to add to it.  i’m kinda worried.  maybe because i know someone right now who had a few of the same symptoms and had just been tested positive for a brain tumour.  uhh…  i’m sure that’s not it, but i NEED to figure this out.  i’d ask if anyone of you might know of have a theory on what’s up, but i disable comments.  ehhh..  oh well.

on a not so depressing, or whatever, note, here’s a drawing i did of Jacob Riley, beni’s SNK character.  only he’s LITTLE JAKE (little jake, little jake, little jake).  ok.  i think only beni and maybe nii-san might get the “little jake” part…

oh.  and since i mentioned nii-san, here’s a new drawing i did of Mae Foster, the character i named after nii.  =D

yay tiemz!